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Talk:Magic Frog/@comment-108.16.7.92-20141114212801
Christmastime was here---the time of year when it snowed, and carols rang through the air. It was the time of year when children get presents and decorate Christmas trees. The Peanuts gang loved Christmas. They thought Christmas was their most favorite holiday of all. But...not everyone was excited for Christmas. There was just one person who didn't FEEL excited about Christmas: Charlie Brown. Poor old Charlie Brown! He was always in deep sadness. He always gets things wrong---and gets ridiculed when he does so. He was not the kind of person you'll find smiling very often---no way! Charlie Brown and Linus were heading to the local skating pond. They stopped at a brick wall, to talk about things. Charlie Brown spoke first. 'I think there's something wrong with me,' he lamented to Linus. 'Christmas is coming, and I just don't feel like I'm supposed to feel.' Charlie Brown just wanted a regular Christmas: no frustrations, no failures, no disasters, no anything. Besides, Christmas was supposed to be a happy holiday. He and Linus exited the wall and started walking again. 'I might be getting Christmas cards,' continued Charlie Brown, 'getting presents, decorating trees, and all, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.' Linus understood. 'Charlie Brown, you're the only person I know who can turn a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem,' he said. Then he walked away. He stopped to look at Charlie Brown. 'Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you are the Charlie Browniest.' He meant that Charlie Brown, like most other kids, always got frustrated about little things. Charlie Brown and Linus finally arrived at the skating pond. Snoopy, Charlie Brown's dog, was there, along with some other kids. Snoopy grabbed Linus' blanket in his mouth and crashed into Charlie Brown! Charlie Brown fell into a pile of snow on the ground. Good grief! Charlie Brown was ALWAYS getting hurt on many occasions---usually by his own dog. He felt like talking to someone about his problem. ... Later, Charlie Brown was looking out the window, a sad look on his face. It wasn't fair. Why can't he go out and play? Perhaps he was...hurt? No, not even a hint of a mark. Still, Charlie Brown wanted to do something. He went outside to check in his mailbox. He opened the mailbox. 'Hello in there!' he called out. Nothing. Only his own voice echoing inside the mailbox. Disgusted and disappointed at the same time, Charlie Brown slammed the mailbox shut and went on his way. 'Rats!' he grumbled. 'Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I know nobody likes me, but...why does the holiday season have to rub it in?' Charlie Brown was sick of all those disastrous problems. It was time to put a stop to it. He saw Violet walking past him. Charlie Brown thought, could Violet send me a Christmas card? Maybe SHE was the one who sent it. On the other hand, maybe not. Charlie Brown decided to try, anyway. He walked over to Violet. 'Thanks for the Christmas card you sent me, Violet,' he said. Violet smiled. 'I didn't send you a Christmas card, Charlie Brown,' she replied, and walked away. 'Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?' Charlie Brown said to no one in particular. Oh, good grief! ... Linus, Lucy, Patty, and Violet were at the brick wall that Charlie Brown and Linus himself had stopped earlier. Just then, snowflakes begin falling. Lucy had an idea. She stuck out her tongue and caught a snowflake in her mouth. 'Come catch snowflakes on your tongue!' she told Linus. 'It's fun!' Linus decided to try. He saw a snowflake and caught it. 'Needs sugar,' Linus remarked. He seemed pretty unsatisfied by the taste of it. He walked away. But, Lucy saw his blanket. Linus needed a break on that blanket, she thought. 'You think you are so smart with that blanket,' she yelled to Linus. 'What are you going to do with it when you grow up?' Linus was uncertain. 'Maybe I'll turn it into a sports coat,' he suggested, comically. How could HE turn his blanket into a sports coat, when he knows there was no zipper in the middle of the blanket? But Lucy was not amused. At all. She scowled at Linus. Linus shrugged his shoulders. ... Charlie Brown arrived at Lucy's booth. She sat down on a stool. Patty saw him. 'Lucy,' he said, 'I think you have a customer.' Lucy gaped, excited. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. What a surprise! She hadn't had a customer in a long time. Lucy sat down in her stool. 'May I help you?' she asked. 'I am in sad shape,' Charlie Brown began, when Lucy interrupted. 'Wait, Charlie Brown,' she said. 'Before we begin, you must pay your advantage.' Charlie Brown put a nickel out of his pocket and dropped it into Lucy's can. 'Boy, what a sound! How I love the sound of cold, hard cash!' Lucy gushed as she shook the can. 'Nickels, nickels, nickels! The sound of clinking nickels!' Charlie Brown just looked at her. Lucy noticed and quickly turned to look at him. 'What's your problem?' she asked. Before Charlie Brown could say anything, Lucy interrupted again. 'Are you afraid of cats? If you are, then you have illophobia.' She wasn't saying the right word! That word was made-up. But, Charlie Brown didn't seem to notice. 'I don't think that's quite it,' he answered. 'Are you afraid of staircases?' inquired Lucy. 'If you are, then you have sickaphobia.' Oh, boy...that was another word that was made-up! 'Well, maybe,' said Charlie Brown, not noticing again. 'But I'm not sure.' 'Maybe you have thassaphobia, the fear of the ocean,' rambled on Lucy. 'Or maybe you ukaphobia.' Oh, no, not again! 'Do you know what ukaphobia is?' 'What's that?' Charlie Brown asked, once again not noticing the made-up word. 'The fear of everything,' Lucy said proudly. Man, Lucy was so smart! There was a pause. Charlie Brown was fed up. 'THAT'S IT!' he shouted, so loudly that Lucy flipped over and landed in the snow. That Charlie Brown...he was so RUDE. Why did he have to act this way? Lucy got up and looked at Charlie Brown, puzzled. Charlie Brown quickly responded by saying, 'Actually, Lucy, my problem is Christmas. Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of let down.' 'You need involvement!' said Lucy. 'How would you like to be the director of our Christmas play?' Charlie Brown lit up like a bulb. A director of a Christmas play? How inspiring! 'Me?' he asked. 'You want ME to be in the Christmas play?' He paused. Then his face turned from very happy to very worried. He said to Lucy, 'But...I don't know ANYTHING about directing a Christmas play.' 'Don't worry,' Lucy comforted. 'I'll be there to help you.' She knew that this was the right thing to do. She walked away as she said, 'I'll meet you at the theater!' As soon as she was gone, Snoopy arrived, carrying ornaments. Charlie Brown was anxious to find out what he was doing. He followed him to his doghouse. Snoopy's doghouse was full of shiny ornaments and a ribbon that said, 'First Prize'. Charlie Brown looked on as Snoopy continued to decorate. 'What's going on here?' he inquired. Snoopy responded by handing him a flyer. 'Find the true meaning of Christmas,' Charlie Brown read. 'Win, Money, Money, Money. Enter the first display contest!' Now, Charlie Brown felt worse than ever. 'Oh, no,' he cried. 'My own dog has gone commercial. I can't stand it!' Now, he wanted this greed to be gone. But he couldn't do it now, he had a Christmas play to direct. ... Charlie Brown met Sally Brown. 'I've been looking for you, big brother...' she said sweetly. Oh, no! Charlie Brown felt embarrassed. Why can't Sally act all, well, SISTERLY around him for once? 'Would you please write a letter to Santa Claus for me?' said Sally. 'Well, I really don't have much time,' replied Charlie Brown. 'I have to go to the auditorium to direct a Christmas play.' Sally handed him a pen and a clipboard. 'You write it, and I'll tell you what I want to say.' 'Okay, shoot!' said Charlie Brown, getting frustrated. But he wrote the letter, anyway. As he wrote, Sally's voice narrated each and every sentence. 'Dear Santa Claus, how was your wife? How is your reindeer? How is your summer? I have been extra good this year, so in my list is a list of things I want,' she was saying. 'If you don't have anything, you could just buy. I would prefer tens and twenties.' 'TENS AND TWENTIES?!' Charlie Brown exclaimed. What did that even mean? 'Oh, even my baby sister!' 'All I want is that I...I just want you to get me some things,' said Sally, finishing the note. Charlie Brown handed the note to Sally. ... At the theater, the Peanuts gang was already there, dancing to a tune that Schroeder was playing on his piano. Lucy entered the stage. 'All right, here he comes,' she said to everyone. 'Everyone, here is...Charlie Brown!' The kids applauded, while Snoopy just went 'Ooooooooooooooooooohhhhh...' Charlie Brown entered the stage. 'Man's best friend,' he said, sarcastically. 'You do think I'm pretty, don't you?' Lucy asked for no particular reason. No response from Charlie Brown. 'You didn't answer me right away,' exclaimed Lucy, losing patience. 'If you would've known, you would've spoken right up! I know when I've been insulted! I KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN INSULTED!!!' she ranted as she walked away. 'Good grief,' said Charlie Brown. What a nutball Lucy was! Charlie Brown listened to the music, irritated. 'All right, listen up,' he said, stopping the music. 'It's very important that you listen to the director. Am I right? I said, 'AM I RIGHT'?!' Nobody was paying attention. The music had begun again! 'STOP THE MUSIC!' Charlie Brown yelled. The music stopped. 'We're going to do this play, and we're going to do it right,' Charlie Brown said firmly. To Lucy, he said, 'Lucy, Pass out those scripts and costumes.' Lucy got several pieces of paper. First, she told Frieda, 'Frieda, you're the innkeeper's wife.' 'Do innkeeper's wives have naturally curly hair?' Frieda asked as she felt her hair with appreciation. Next, Lucy walked over to Pig Pen. 'Pig Pen, you're the innkeeper,' she said. Pig Pen looked at all the dust that flew all over him. He looked awfully dusty; how could he be part of the play? But then, he had an idea. 'In spite of my dusty appearance, I shall try to run a clean inn,' he decided. Then, Lucy walked over to Shermy, who was holding a staff. 'Shermy...' she began. 'Every Christmas is the same,' Shermy complained. 'I always end up being a shepherd.' 'That'll do,' said Lucy. Finally, she walked over to Snoopy. 'Snoopy, you will be all the animals in the play,' she said. 'Can you be a sheep?' 'Baaaaa!' Snoopy bleated. 'How about a cow?' 'Mooooo!' Snoopy went. 'How about a penguin?' Snoopy waddled around like a penguin. Lucy was impressed. 'Even he's a great penguin,' she commented. But then, Snoopy did something unexpected. He started battling Lucy, tackling her to the ground. 'No, no, no!' she cried, desperately. 'You need to listen to the director!' Snoopy started laughing. 'That's it,' said Lucy. How could SHE handle Snoopy? Perhaps she'd better punch him... But before she could, Snoopy licked her face. 'Ugh! I'VE BEEN KISSED BY A DOG!' said Lucy. She started running in circles, shouting, 'GET SOME WATER, GET SOME DISINFECTANT! GET SOME IODINE!' 'Bleah!' ... After a while, Lucy went over to Linus. Oh, no. Now Lucy would threaten Linus again... 'You need to memorize these lines,' she told Linus. 'I can't memorize these lines, this is ridiculous,' Linus protested. 'Come on, just practice your lines,' said Lucy, exasperated. 'I can't memorize something like that this quickly,' Linus replied. 'I'll give you five good reasons,' Lucy threatened as she held up her fist. She then counted as she raised each finger. 'One, two, three, four, FIVE!' she said. 'Those are good reasons,' Linus said, shaking his head. 'This is not only getting confusing; it's getting a little dangerous.' 'And get rid of that stupid blanket!' Lucy added. Ooooohh...that kind of hurt! 'What kind of shepherd would want to hold a blanket like that?' 'A shepherd really needs to keep his blanket in the play,' Linus said. Lucy scowled and made another fist. Linus yelped and quickly hid under his blanket. 'See?' he said. 'You wouldn't hurt...an innocent little shepherd, would you?' While Lucy was handling Linus, Charlie Brown was trying to get the play to be right. 'Let's take it from the top,' he said. 'Frieda...'' Frieda was covered from head to toe in Pig Pen's dust. 'I can't go on; there's too much dust,' she complained. 'It's getting the curl out of my naturally curly hair!' 'Don't think of it as dust,' insisted Charlie Brown. 'Think of it as the ancient soil in Babylon.'' Frieda looked at Charlie Brown. Dust, soil, what was the big difference? Charlie Brown then added a few more ideas. 'Sort of does make you a little respectful, doesn't it?' inquired Pig Pen, who was next to Frieda. Frieda had had enough. 'You're an absolute mess!' she whined angrily, as she handed a mirror to Pig Pen. 'Just look at yourself.' Pig Pen looked at the mirror. But, surprisingly, he didn't get upset. Instead, he smiled and let out this comment: 'On the contrary, I thought I didn't look that good.' Just then, a crash was heard. Charlie Brown hurried over to investigate. Snoopy was balancing his food bowl on his nose. 'All right, no more of this foolishness,' he said to Snoopy. 'It's time to do the play. And, ACTION!' But, everyone danced along to Schroeder's jazzy music. Lucy snapped her fingers along to the beat. 'Charlie Brown,' she urged, 'you got to admit it, this song's catchy!' 'That does it!' Charlie Brown cried out, showing the usual, frowny face that had been used for lots of years. 'What's the matter, Charlie Brown?' said Lucy. 'This Christmas play's all wrong!' he wailed. 'Let's face it. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket,' Lucy replied. 'It's not just part of the syndricate, you know.' Aaaagh, enough with those made-up words already! Once more, Charlie Brown didn't notice. 'There's one play that won't be like that,' he explained. Then he said that all they needed was a Christmas tree. Lucy liked the idea. 'A great big, aluminum Christmas tree! That's it, Charlie Brown!' she cried excitedly. 'You get the tree. I'll handle this crowd,' she added. She knew that she would handle the crowd better than Charlie Brown. 'Okay. I'll take Linus with me,' said Charlie Brown. 'The rest of you...practice your lines.' As he and Linus were getting ready, Lucy said, 'Get the biggest tree you can find, Charlie Brown. Maybe painted pink!' ...